We all want to tell ourselves
that we are living authentically;
that sin, and evil, and trauma were eradicated thousands of years ago.
Isn't this civilisation so beautiful, and wonderful, and pretty?
Didn't they do such a fantastic job,
those secret, occluded High Evolutionaries
who all fancy themselves INTJs?
If everything is all going according to plan
then fuck
why is it still so damn hot today?
We didn't need an
Even Younger Dryas, my man
or men, or anti-Roda Mundansa revolutionaries;
we didn't technically need to see Pericles, or The Winter's Tale, or Cymbeline, and the deeper story that their 'problem plots' betray:
that the ego-pattern you would love to be,
and the ego-pattern that you are
are two very different things.
And it is an overreliance on believing in the latter
---that the ideal can somehow be forced into reality---
that, at least by my count, leads to our current world's mad, insane hypocrisy.
If Fuad's an ESFJ, and I an ENFJ,
then truly, all the worlds have been just the same mere stage
on your returning road to something very very far
from victory.
It would have been nice, truly,
if the Maliduensa had been defeated
at Hastinapur's gates;
it would have been nice, undoubtedly.
A less fucked up fourth, and fifth, and all subsequent Mundansas.
And no real need to erase our collective history.
You know which ego-pattern
I would have liked to be?
None of them.
In my ideal world,
I would simply just be me.
It has been the most painful and unacceptable part of my life since I was a teenager, therefore,
to accept that
that is, unfortunately, the real and uneraseable story.
That in failing to observe this most fundamental part of the five acts
we only keep writing ourselves
into the same fucking epilogue
of endless, tragicomic folly.
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