"It means that though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back, into the stillness and the darkness before Time dawned, she would have read there a different incantation. She would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards."
C.S. Lewis
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (1950)
I'm still not sure how it works,
but all I know is that the exallos think that their projections still hurt,
and this is likely the principle (which maybe our state also has extensively researched):
when you project onto someone, and/or kill them in real life,
your psyche consumes their fire, their water, their wind, their earth.
Your psyche takes their psyche's power.
You become stronger.
You also become a fucking monster.
This might be why our state now kills people always and only when Fuad and I are mysteriously out of the country,
as if they really, really need
a short-range Milo energy bar burst.
Because (from what I and good ol' C.S. Lewis can deduce), there may be an even more powerful version of magic than the first:
when you project onto someone who in spite of that wishes you no harm in return
(you know, like me)---
all that abusive, fucktastic energy somehow gets turned
towards my ends, instead,
as long as I can learn
why you did it, and why you wanted me dead.
So just be like everyone in the Singapore state who is freaking about how I can "read their minds" without ever coming into contact with them---
bitch.
If you just hadn't tried.
And that's possibly the deepest magic of all,
one level even further than Narnia it seems. From long before the Fall:
if you abuse someone who has never hurt you
(again, like me)
who thereafter still loves you and respects you as a human being, no matter the cost---
just like that
even the extreme heat of hate will miraculously begin to thaw.
Even a body like mine
will begin to speak, and shine, and sing
of something deeper.
Something more.