Jack(D) of all gays,
and master of oh so much fun.
No trade's too difficult,
no subject has really been left undone.
Even the Singapore education system's version of Mandarin;
for ten years, I accepted that as my mother tongue,
when yo sa linggu sa nomi sa stori sa sor kung sanggi
mutu mas kema forsa di lagri;
a radiant beam of centrifugal, dazzling envy
which, as they say in GP,
my detractors will hope releases me
from the mechanical precision of my cataphoric referencing;
my anaphoric, diachronic melody.
I also know
quite a bit of
body chemistry.
The smells you radiate;
the centripetal, dashing eternity:
it's a compound of way too much science
and not enough scented tea leaves.
I like my eugenics
at best,
to be carried in on the breeze,
not smashed in over my head.
That kind of lottery
only gets you in more loam than you might care to have under the soles of where you tread.
That kind of loom
spins a very peculiar tidiness
that makes you oh so attractive to
hmmmm.
Not Death
per se.
But maybe Rationality's
Darkest Day.
Maybe the ecomorphological viewfinders, the witchhunters
the sounds of yet another deep time
plague.
Meanwhile,
I find I am just the right amount of
Merlionsmanic:
you wish I was as penitentially self-repellent,
as ardently narcissistic,
but I have to demur here, and highlight how tragic
it is that you force yourself to see yourself seeing the world in this way.
All of the disorder comes only from an over-ordered mind,
one might say;
too quick to dismiss the refined,
and too afraid of the hyperintelligently dirty;
too meek to seek a new life.
Too worried to embrace
the shirtlessly, shrewdly free.
Too fearful of truth to rationalise it all.
All too ready to live forever in yesterday.
Don't be afraid.
It's okay.
Only one of us needs to do everything, to connect it all. To subvert it, so that when you fall
it will still have all been worth it.
I will still be able to say
from my calculations
from my endless non-Western ruminations
and, of course, from your endless, secluded fascinations:
it only remains to conclude
that I always knew you, and I, and the entire planet
always knew what made someone gay.
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