It's very simple;
you put your key into the lock,
and the door opens.
The river of the unconscious gushes out.
The universe feels filled with you, and I, inside me
and you. You can
put your tongue in there too;
I am not ashamed to say
what feels good, and right, and true.
I am not ashamed to put you into me
so that I can show you what you really should do:
you should take me
like a bull between the horns
should see red, in a universe
made of gentleness and mercy:
as one more mere colour in a spectrum
that also now includes narenga, anyil, vanezmu kung pesisi.
Yo ngua porta kung bara pra tudu sorti di chabi
ja prendeh ki fikah pesua,
desah impoku mas di speransa,
ngka dibeh klai tadri.
The ocean is wide.
The body is dreaming, and deep.
When you fuck me in your heart,
I want it to be hot, and rich, and something that can be
something you are not cowed about.
Something you can shout quietly about.
I fucked an ex-Teaching Scholar.
I fucked the last Merlionsman of Singapore, and her first Dreamtiger.
I fucked somebody, and it actually, truly, honestly
made me a little lighter.
Made me stand up tall, and feel what it feels like
when finally, the fucking shame is gone
and the universe actually seems a little brighter.
So make me your fantastic flame,
the gay Kristang lightfire with the dazzling Merlionsmanic mane
through whom you can show others
that a real, untamed sexuality
was never about sin,
or shame,
or deciding what goes where
or where in is, and out.
Sexuality is about accepting that attraction is about self-knowledge.
In love. In gentle, vulnerable courage.
In seeing yourself reflected in others, in all the shirtless photos you read about
and store, secretly in the cloud.
It's about trusting yourself, and trusting others to let you in,
even as you unlock every last door and gateway and broomcloset,
and let the whole world finally, truly,
know that the human being alive
is one who still wrestles with doubt.
That you know your duty
to yourself, and to finally accepting
you are scared to talk to yourself about.
Open the gate.
It's not destiny or fate;
just your own knowing that
the human being who finally meets Life on their own terms
is one who is absolutely fucking proud.
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