I think some important people are kinda unhappy that I am pursuing a Master's degree in archeoastronomy
Poem in English
And it's self-funded?
How can this be?
How can he be doing it just for fun?
There must be some kind of conspiracy ---
It's always the same old bloody thing.
"You know Kevin, you've changed. Before you took up this degree---"
Heya,
get your fucking dates right.
I only joined the programme this February;
I "changed" five months before that, when Merlionsman and the Orange Book started in earnest, at the end of 2022 Term 3.
Yo! ---maybe if Eunoia hadn't fucked me over so badly,
I might still be marking essays, and AQs,
and feeling oh so frustrated at my inability
to understand myself, and my community, and my country.
Maybe, you know, that's what actually changed me?
That, and the fact that after all the revelations this year
I'm not quite sure how I and any Singaporean is supposed to trust in any kind of institutional authority
let alone ISD.
Don't go blaming me for your homophobia, your racism, and your lack of clarity
on what your own fucking people were doing.
Go ahead and project that your actions are frightening;
they are,
but they also make for great poetry, and anthologies.
They'll also make for great archiving in Kristang in the National Library,
and on the Internet, in the loving and capable hands
of Gen Z.
I understand; when you look up at the stars, all you must see
is emptiness.
But you'll have to forgive the leader of the Kristang
for wanting to do his part to change the way we understand who we are.
You'll have to forgive my ignorance
about what you have done to support that in any way
thus far.
And you'll have to forgive my innocence:
maybe you can't fucking understand how a Singaporean scholar or writer has literally built himself from the ground up
but I can.
I am that woman-man.
And that's how far I'll go
to make sure that all are on par.
That's how far I'll go
pra fikah ngua kabesa
teng rostu di tudu strelapedra:
Lonchil, Blangkang, Karimang, Brumilang,
Nagraliya, Trigelis, Pedragayu kung Drakar.
So this is how it goes.
You deconstruct my heart.
Okay.
All you'll find is
rage, honed white-hot
into art.