In fact, if I were divine (which I am not)
I would wonder at why the heck the lost
and the lonely, the torn apart and traumatised
would have to suffer for eternity; that, to me, seems a little too unfairly defined.
It is without a doubt that we all need to work on ourselves, and find
ways to move past our own imperfections, while always keeping them in mind:
but let me tell you, forever is a very, very long time.
Forever perfect? Forever tinctured?
I can't even ensure I walk in a straight line without worrying about a fracture
or that other event, a rapturous
belief in the other, terrifying fire that comes at night:
the things that come in, and consume all of the light.
You know I will stand firm, and you know that I will fight
but let me tell you, forever is a very, very long time.
Forever released from the burden of responsibility? How I would crave a space of mine
like that, to do whatever I want, to allow my mind
to fall back into prejudice, self-loathing, hatred; to allow what I once despised
to become exactly that again, to let disgust and despair become my new gay best friends:
I am non-binary, but even I struggle against
what I cannot find in others, and what I have to generate in my own time:
let me tell you, this Dreamtiger sometimes walks a very, very thin line
but does it so spectacularly, with such poise refined
by watching Madagascar 3, and learning that to be kind
Is to be everything. To be compassionate is already heaven, alive;
to be gay is to be dauntlessly heroic and to know that pride
is made of the best kind of fire. The best truly never tire
of fighting for every last human being to find
that forever is only something that we can ever truly invite
into our hopes.
Into our dreams.
Into our oceans and seas,
and into who I know, with all of my burning heart
that you can one day be.
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