So it seems everyone:
exallos, some senior members of NUS, the EA, church and state—
everyone was worried that the leader of the Kristang and his husband
had somehow entered a throuple or a threeway
partnership, based on my short story 'When the Boys Come Home' (which you can read on tigrisachang.substack.com for free!)
and so many hints I had given of my much greater bodily autonomy.
The projections were legendary,
and seemed to involve disabusing me
of my MAs in Southeast Asian Studies and Archeoastronomy
so that I 'would not have any scholarly credentials' to write about sexuality.
First—
only the blessedly stupid will think that removing two pieces of paper from my CV
will somehow stop my research from being of its usual quality
in almost any field of the social sciences and humanities.
And second—
sex is not dirty.
For you maybe.
But not for us
or the rest of individuated humanity.
Stop sending what you think are honeypots to our door, even in Togo,
thinking the two of us lack standards or boundaries.
That's you;
you still think in terms of
someone else's hyperabusive 'morality':
brown people are immoral
and dirty.
Fuck you?
No. I don't want to.
For any others we have loved since 2014 are not just always with each other's consent and full, unbridled honesty,
but people whom we both appreciate and want in our lives
even if only one of us is closer to them.
That is real, deep equality.
And since 2014, there honestly haven't been many.
Just one, in fact, with me, in 2016.
Initially
we both thought he was okay.
And then he tortured me
and now I know it was only thanks to your conditioning that my life was destroyed so rampantly.
So in reclaiming who I am,
I subvert your torrid lies
into a human man's liberty:
I am no divinity.
This is not my blood and my body,
but Fuad's and my love,
and honour,
and entire, unblemished history.
I only cuddle with men
who respect all of that,
and are attracted to me, and I to them,
for all the right reasons:
body
mind
heart
soul
and, like I said,
absolute,
complete
honesty.
When you can say the same about yourself,
to the world—
that's when you, too,
will lead us all
as wholly pure
and clean.
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